


The First Annual Thunder Wasp Charity Calendar

by eschscholzia



Category: Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Ensemble Cast, F/M, Fundraisers, Gen, Inappropriate Use of Office Photocopiers, Office Shenanigans, Other, Suggestive Themes, charity calendar, fluff friday, implied thryce, offscreen governor, very mildly suggestive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 19:19:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16270682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eschscholzia/pseuds/eschscholzia
Summary: TheThunder Wasphas an ingenious plan to raise the most money for the Imperial Combined Campaign by creating a charity calendar featuring noted members of the crew. There's only a slight problem: they forgot to get their commander's approval first.





	The First Annual Thunder Wasp Charity Calendar

The  _ Thunder Wasp _ mess was a hubbub of activity. The charity calendars had just come back from the printer, and Gierish and Torix were making brisk sales from their table in the corner. Eli Vanto was not interested in purchasing a calendar; he just wanted to eat his lunch. 

“Pardon me!” He held his tray over people’s heads so as not to spill his lunch on the line of crewmembers queuing for their copies. He made it through the crowd to a nearby seat, beer cheese soup thankfully intact. His spoonful of delicious stringy blue liquid was barely to his mouth when a voice interrupted his anticipation.

“Hey Eli, you’re in here! You sly dog. You didn’t tell anyone!”  

It was Faro. Eli set his spoon down. Here it came. 

Almost instantly, Gierish had him by the elbow, and was dragging him to the front of the line. “And today only, our very own multi-lingual cost accountant will give autographs, no extra charge!” she called out. 

Eli smiled wanly. He waved feebly as the mess hall hooted and cackled. 

“Your copy is free, of course.” Gierish handed Eli one from the top of the stack. Eli stepped to the side to let her resume filling orders. One eye half-closed in fear, he glanced at the hottest  publication this side of the Mid-Rim. Eli flipped past pictures of a pilot in full flight gear posed with her helmet off in front of her TIE, a naked repair tech holding a strategically-placed mouse droid, and Colonel Yularen. 

_ Wait, Colonel Yularen? _

Month 4 featured Colonel Yularen toasting the camera with what looked to be a glass of Corellian brandy, a benevolent smirk on his face. An inviting fire crackled in the fireplace next to his wing chair. Eli could just make out a family crest over the mantel; it must have been taken at his estate. 

“How’d you get the Colonel to pose for  _ that _ ?” he asked. 

Gierish leaned in as she handed someone their change. With a conspiratorial stage whisper, she said, “I promised Mrs. Yularen ten complimentary copies for her garden club friends.” 

He laughed a single laugh through his nose, and continued on. There he was: Month 6. The caption proclaimed: “The  _ Thunder Wasp’s _ favorite attaché poses with some of his Lysatran Orchids. This perpetual Baxter could be an exotic find for some lucky boy or girl!” 

His picture seemed decidedly… tame… compared to the suggestive compositions of the other months. Eli sighed and set down the calendar. “Did you have to do that?” he asked Gierish.

“It’s all in the marketing,” she responded. “Some people fantasize about the second fiddle getting their day to shine. You can’t deny it. You’re a Baxter.”  

“And what is this word, … Baxter?”

The crowd jumped. They hadn’t noticed that their commanding officer had silently joined them. Eli’s heart pounded through his throat. How would he explain this to Thrawn? His glance fell to the calendars spread across the table. He looked back up.

Faro jumped in. “It’s a term for a horticultural enthusiast, sir. Slang named for Baron Baxter Lorid of Serenno, a noted collector of orchids.” 

Eli’s gratitude to Faro for the save still barely tempered the exasperation he felt from the caption. Was there even a orchid collector from Serenno by that name? He just knew he liked them because they were his Nana’s. 

Thrawn took a calendar by the edge, without comment. He let the pages fall in turn, until his glowing gimlet eyes fell on Month 7. The pages stopped moving. Faro’s eyes flicked to Eli’s; they met silently. Neither moved, but he knew they both felt the same dread.

Thrawn gently returned the calendar to the mess table, keeping it open to the same page. After taking another look at the page, he looked up at the crewbeings assembled before him in turn. Eli and Faro met his gaze, although Gierish blinked.  

“Lieutenant Torix!”

“Yes, sir?” The  _ Thunder Wasp’s _ Public Affairs Officer stepped forward. 

“Explain this to me.” 

“It’s for the Service Club, sir. We’re competing against the  _ Tumnor _ again this year for the Imperial Combined Campaign. The committee decided we wanted something unique to put us over the edge. We thought that if we featured personalities from our ship….” His voice trailed off.

“I am familiar with a calendar, however quaint they might be, and I am familiar with the Imperial Combined Campaign,” Thrawn said, his voice as cool as the room temperature, which Eli swore had dropped several degrees. “What I am curious about is how  _ I _ ended up in the calendar.” 

The mess was absolutely silent. Eli surreptitiously angled his eyes to the table. It was an action shot frozen in time: a shirtless Thrawn tinkering with some of his machinery collection, elbows deep with spanners and parts. Thrawn’s arms were bare; his torso was only covered by a form-fitting Imperial issue undershirt. Eli cringed internally as he guessed that Month 7’s gimmick was probably their commander’s thick biceps, flexed as he tightened a bolt on something. Could Torix talk his way out of this?

“I thought I agreed to this picture as part of the Imperial Diversity Campaign on the holo media,” Thrawn said. 

“Yes sir, you did,” agreed Torix.

“But I did not consent to be in the calendar. How did this come about?”

Eli was pretty sure Thrawn knew the answer, he was just making Torix squirm. 

“We had a last minute cancellation, sir, and this was in the stock photo files.” 

Thrawn studied Torix for a moment while the only sounds in the room were nervous breaths. A chair squeaked as it moved under the weight of someone bracing themselves against it. He crossed his arms, leaning one hand against his mouth in thought. Finally he spoke.

“And how much are the calendars?”

Torix named the price.

Thrawn nodded. “And how much has the Service Club raised so far?”

Torix named an amount.

Eli heard Faro gasp beside him. They had raised twice as much as last year in only the first week! 

Thrawn thought for a moment, and then reached out and tapped the stack one last time. “Charge a calendar to my account. Send it to Governor Pryce on Lothal, with my compliments.” 

He turned and strode out of the mess.

The room was silent for a minute while people recovered from the strain. Someone giggled nervously, and the ice was broken. Normal conversations resumed. Faro turned to Eli.

“What are you going to do with your calendar?” 

“I dunno,” he shrugged. “I’m not exactly sure I can send this to my mom.”

Her eyes got big. “I know- take a page from the Boss's book and send it to that lieutenant on the  _ Tumnor _ , the one who gave you their comm number.”

He grinned. “You know, I just might.” 


End file.
